New Things, Old things - What I know for sure.

The best part of maturity is putting things into practice that are tried and true. I get a certain sense of satisfaction from watching things line up as I expect. The next best part of maturity is the reliability of expecting the unexpected also known as all things going to hell. I know that particular part of the journey makes life interesting, keeps your mind sharp, and makes for great stories.

I am getting better everyday, which makes me keenly aware of the things that have changed, that are very different. Somethings, thankfully haven't changed and likely won't and those are my reliables that sustain me. A new thing, my body has new land marks and I have learned that healing surgical scars can be painful. When I least expect it, my scars turn into blistering, heat filled, marks of searing, agonizing pain - and 45 seconds later it goes away. So far the only treatment that cools and calms it down completely is vitamin e oil. Not cocoa butter, not fresh aloe, not processed aloe, not bio oil, not honey. Vitamin E oil. Also new, the random chest pains that come and go - they suck.  An old thing is sleep is my bestest friend. I sleep often and my crazy dreams usually don't deter my relationship with my bed. My bed is my boo. No matter how often people tell me I am doing to much I chuckle to myself cause they cannot know that compared to my former normal, I might as well be a teenager on summer break. I rest, barely leave the house, and sleep when the feeling hits me. Truthfully, this is old and true but hadn't been possible in a long, long time.

Another new thing is my decreased strength. I pride myself on being physically strong. That I will take every bag and carry a sleeping child in the house because I REFUSE to make more than one trip type upper body strength. Well, it's gone, dropping my ego down to the reality of needing help to do what was mindlessly easy before. An old truth is that I can get it back. I know that for sure. It will be a humbling journey but I can regain and surpass my former strength. A great new thing is my even greater need for personal security and safety. As a card carrying member of the big chick club, I have always been accustomed to people thinking twice about bothering me. I also have worked to maintain safety where ever I am. After this incident, I think where was my home alarm or my dog? Why did I have my machete by my door and nothing by my bed? Why did I not know how to disarm my attacker? Now, these are not questions to berate myself. To the contrary these are ways to create a new, safer environment for myself and my children. An old thing is that I am stubborn (really) but reasonable. So, I do things that make sense, but I am determined to make that call my self. I will however ask for advise before I decide.

The best new thing is the reality of the magnitude of people and their loving support of me. I know that I make heart connections with people that I meet. That's what I try to do, to truly create love moments wherever I go. I just didn't know how deep that went, or how far. You all blew me away. I mean that. It has only been 9 weeks since the day my life changed. I fully expect these new normals to get old as I take on brand new things to do and accomplish, as well as deal with the regular random things that just come my way. What I know for sure is that, experience is still the best teacher and you might as well get a good story out of the journey.

Ama

A Short Story - The Theme is Love



Inspired by Acoustic Soul an Open Mic Hosted by Marc A Evans

 

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
― Mother Teresa

The Theme is Love

After a series of disappointments and acceptances, our heroine was more committed than ever to her quest. She'd plunged into the brush, following the signs that led her on a path of self discovery. She had completed many missions and had come to understand her skill set, talents and gifts. She also understood all too well her vulnerabilities.

Her last brush with chance had shown her all to well, how good a travel companion could be. Their unexpected decision to recant their commitments, in actions followed by final utterances sealed the door on her open stance to new comers. She would still believe but her two young apprentices needed her, and she needed to trust in those who were reliable in action and words.

After a long arduous day of completing tasks our heroine found herself at her last stop for the night. A crowded coffee house, brightly lit and festive. The people awaited her arrival. She was bone tired, but she covered it, using the skills she'd learned a long the way. She was going 'on'. Many in the crowd had watched her journey but the rest were new to her and she had a message to give. This was her walk. Greeted outside by a few trusted comrades. She entered knowing she was on. It was time to unveil her starlight.

"The theme for tonight is love," she said to the shining faces looking back at her from the other side of the microphone. And she began revealing herself, song after song, message after message, layer after layer. All shared from her heart. That is her power source, her heart. She finished and walked the room offering the part of herself she'd captured on disc to those in attendance. She greeted and smiled and shined her starlight until able to sit and clasp her number 1 apprentice in her arms and lap for a while before heading back out to finally make it home.

She thought about love and friendship. She thought about acceptance. She thought of the one she missed. She thought of all the battles behind and all the battles to come. These thoughts floated thru her mind as the newest light sharers took the stage. A duo. She listened but only with half her mind until one said, so I've come to ask you this question. Her focus zoomed in as she watched him walk to a woman in the audience box in hand. See the theme for the night was love she'd said. Nearly every following sharer had stayed true to the vein she'd initiated. They'd even celebrated the two newly wed couples in attendance. So when he dropped to his knee, she rose to her feet. When he asked, her eyes grew wide. She heard the reply. YES. And she like every other in the room cheered! She even jumped up and down in that moment of communal celebration and jubilee! Wow! In that moment, she'd witnessed the fruits of that particular tree. Love was the theme, she'd read it, called it, and witnessed the confirmation. Love!

The glow in the room slowly moved to warm fuzzy feelings and our heroine had to move along to get her small family home. She talked to a friend to keep her awake. She carried her wee ones to their beds and found her way to her own. Tomorrow a new day, she reflected on her loves and she drifted off to sleep.

Ama Chandra
December 7, 2012 at 11:21am