The last few years have been a series of life lessons on how to be crazy on a fixed income. I have survived with a few insane stories, a couple of amputations, and a greater sense of purpose. Coming home with a child on continuous oxygen and a bradycardia monitor that continuously false alarmed, I put my children at the forefront of my life and supported us with skills I did not know I possessed! I learned how to tread water and walk on quicksand. I developed a deep sense of gratitude and when necessary I learned how to let it all go especially the opinions of others. Acceptance without exception is tougher to live than to say. So, now I have read the signs in my life (trust me, we all have signs) and I am preparing to get back in the work force. Now don't get me wrong, I've been working nonstop since I came home with baby g, but my children and my support systems are stable enough that I can now honestly and earnestly began generating a real income for my little family.
The lessons I've learned when not knowing where my next anything would come from have prepared me to live well within my means. This was not something I always knew how to do well. I have also developed a great set of skills when it comes to playing defense with my dollars. Trusting spirit has turned into trusting myself. I am putting pieces in place to allow me and my littles to stabilize but more than that, I am preparing to restore some much needed self support systems into my routine. Operation Stabilization is about the priorities that mattered when there was nothing going deeper in and stronger. I am so ready.
I am ready to enter into my 39th year better, stronger, clearer. My littles are growing up, with baby g hanging in the kitchen while I cook gumbo and my big son doing reading lessons on the computer. My dear friend handling all the projects that have needed to be done forever. My world is becoming stronger from the center out and I am excited and nervous about this birthday coming. I am not sure what life has in specifics but I trust that my will, ability and alignment with my highest, clearest good will ensure that I stay with the Goddess plan. That I will live in love. And finally, that it will be a continuation of my crazy life!
With love
Ama
